True confessions of a first-time-second-time mom.

True confessions of a first-time-second-time mom. I say “first time second time” because although I have already carried the torch of being a first time mom, having two kids is a whole new game! I feel like a first time mom all over again!

Like it or not, I’m one of those moms who loves (and thrives on!) a schedule and a routine. I believe in letting our little people cry it out and learn to soothe themselves from a young age. I follow the advice and old-school methods of 110 year old pediatrician Dr. Lelia Denmark. By the end of our second week home when Nash was born, he was already sleeping through the night ..a happy, healthy, well- loved, well-fed and well-rested baby. It’s the only way I know how to parent and it works for our family (and a lot of other like minded families I know and love!). BUT when adopting a 6 month old all the rules change and it’s a whole new game!

When it comes to bonding, attaching, and learning about our newest addition, we are not letting her cry it out and giving a lot of grace as she adjusts to her new time zone, her new home, the new sights, smells, noises, parents, brother…well everything is new for her! And it feels like everything is new for me too as I learn to parent her in these days! Over time we will slide into our Denmark routine, but for now we are just taking it one day at a time.

So, it’s not always giggles and smiles at the V-tanz house! While there have been many wonderful moments, there have been hard days too. If I’m honest, i’s been a little harder than I thought to find our rhythm as a family of 4. I think I had forgotten how much work babies are! 🙂

Thankfully, Nash has been awesome and really gracious towards his sister. This is a huge answer to prayer. I can not imagine how crazy I would be if he was throwing tantrums and having a tough time welcoming home his little sister. Instead he has been SO happy and joyful each day about his new buddy and simply adores her. He’s my little helper!

Bryson has done well. He just finished his first week back to work…and I am so happy when he comes through the door each day at 5! He adores his baby girl in a way that is very different than the way he attached to Nash. I think it just has to do with daddy-daughter thing. It’s really sweet to watch.

Evyn is doing well but we are still learning each other. It’s been a process to figure out how she likes to be held and rocked to sleep. We’ve transitioned her to solids + bottles but I swear this girl would drink a bottle every hour of the day if I let her! She only knows how to comfort herself if she has a bottle. Hoping she will fall in love with her thumb or a binky, but no luck so far.

I’ve actually had a tough time adjusting. The past 9 months have been full-on for me as I planned and prepared for both Passion2010 and the arrival of our daughter. Then all at once it happened…and it is over. I’m back to being a stay at home mom and learning the ropes all over again. Whew, exhausting! And man…the laundry! It never stops! 🙂 I recently heard the saying “A clean house is a wasted life”…that might become my motto because there is no way I can keep the house clean right now. So, just as I am giving miss Evyn grace as she adjusts, I’m going to extend that same grace to myself. It’s going to take time to figure this 2 kid thing out (FYI, I really want 4 or 6 kids…so I’ve GOT to figure out the 2 kid thing or I will never make it to 6!!). How to get them in and out of the car at the grocery store, how to get them fed, bathed, and down for naps at the same time, how to keep up with the laundry, how to save the best of myself each day for my husband and not just give him what’s leftover. Like I said, it’s a process and it will take time.

Here is what I know for sure: Scripture says that God promises us grace and strength. So I am holding on to that truth and trusting God to fill me today and in the days to come. I love my family and I would not want to be on any other journey…even on the hard days.

Beautiful Chaos-

EV

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8 thoughts on “True confessions of a first-time-second-time mom.

  1. Ahh, I could have written this myself– except that my 2 year old isn’t doing as well as yours is! (Lucky!!) People tell me that going from one to two is the hardest transition, so hopefully when the time comes, going from 2 to 3 will be a lot easier.

    Thanks for sharing. I’m really glad it is not just me…

  2. Thanks Emily and Molly–maybe it’s not just me?!?!?! Still trying to get into the swing of things here, too–it’s taking longer than I expected and I keep wondering when–if ever?–I’m going to feel like I have it all together again. And our K is such an EASY baby, too. Parenting an infant is just so constant! I’m sure I must’ve gone through this when we went from 1 to 2–must be one of those things (like childbirth) that women somehow block from their memories for their own good? We want 5 or 6 as well eventually. . .
    Love you guys!

  3. One to two was so hard. I just left the hardest year of my life. Now Henry is 3 and Mary Taylor is 13 months. It just takes time to get used to the chaos and how to trust God in it! He has greatly used these past several months to refine me and make me more like him. I have learned to find true joy in the frustration of two children!

  4. Oh man, I am having a hard time adjusting with our 1! Bear is an eater too! The bottle an hour thing would be his thing too if we let him. We are introducing rice cereal this week.

    Let’s pray in a couple weeks we are all laughing at our January selves because our kids are then so EASY! Maybe we should do a weekly conference call for consolation? 🙂

  5. Em!!! I love your honesty! You are so right… give yourself grace b/c lots of the things we think we have to do to be a “successful” mom and wife are things that we have put on ourselves- not necessarily what God desires of us! I am sure you are doing an amazing job and I hope to hang out with your crew soon! Love you friend.

    P.S. Sorry I attacked you and Evyn at church last Sunday. I realized later that I did what I said I would never do but I just couldn’t contain myself. It was so great to see her in person after all of our prayers and talks about baby Opi! I will control myself next time:)!

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